Religion is the most important thing in a person's life. If electric
trains are the most pervasive thing in one's life, that is his religion.
Anything can be a religion if it means a lot. If your present religion
isn't the most important thing in your life, then skip it. Find whatever
impels you most and make that your religion.
Religions are easy to invent. Most traditional religions have little
or nothing to do with reality, are dependent on obfuscation, interpretation,
guilt, and unreasoning faith--some more than others. Since Satanism is
essentially a religion of the self, it holds that the individual and his
personal needs comes first. If that means playing with trains or spike-heeled
shoes or singing in the bathtub, those are its sacraments and devotions.
Taking inventory of old comic books is counting beads on a rosary, each
book being a station of the cross.
Before I codified Satanism, thus enabling me to integrate everything
of a personal meaning into a suitable forum, I first considered the religion
of Dogism. The belief system made sense, but was too limiting. Dogism holds
that if you can't eat it, and you can't fuck it; piss on it. Much as I
respect dogs and their gods, I could relate more to Catism, the principle
religion of cats. The Five Commandments of Catism are: (1) Don't run, if
you can walk. (2) Don't walk, if you can stand. (3) Don't stand, if you
can sit. (4) Don't sit, if you can lie down, and (5) Don't stay awake,
if you can take a nap. Catism counsels: "He who sleeps the day away
/ lives to sleep another day," or, "Respect the friend who brings
your food, for he has been your choice / Or go and catch it for _yourself_,
and have a louder voice," and other such homilies.
Freud's "pleasure principle" should be known to be the highest
motivator for any religion. The significance of any fetish is a yardstick
for its priority. When a fetish transcends all else, including survival
needs, religious fanaticism is the result. When the audio equipment takes
priority over the music, the way the music _sounds_ is more important than
the sound of the _music_. The act of falling in love can be more important
than one's choice of a mate. If the size of a screen is more important
than what's on it and the latest hardware and software eclipses the quality
of the product entered--fetishism is the result.
All activity that consumes, therefore, should be recognized as being
both religious and fetishistic. A Satanist whose hobby or fetish is Satanism
_per se_, is no more of a Satanist than one who, realizing the indulgence
advocated by Satanism, accepts the Name. The difference between the man
or woman who's a _practicing_ Satanist, from an _identity_ Satanist is
that the practicing Satanist looks at the picture, while the identity Satanist
studies the frame.
Those who disparage and belittle the Church of Satan to an obsessive
degree reveal their fetish. In reality and practice, by their consuming
interest, they reveal their true religion to be-- the Church of Satan.
Otherwise, they would turn on their heel, walk away, and refuse to subject
themselves to that which they need not. Clearly, they need us. We don't
need them.
Never underestimate the sexual corollaries to fetishism/religion. It's
too easy (and convenient) to dismiss covert arousal. Just as there have
been foot fetishists who work in shoe stores, there are masturbationist
writers and artists who have nothing to say and write nothing worth reading.
Their output amounts to one stroke or rub per line of type, using their
typewriters or computers as sex toys. This can lead to sexual dependency
upon the computer. Far-fetched? Things have changed since monks illuminated
manuscripts and suffered ecstasies.
Varieties of religious experience can be as interesting as varieties
of fetishism. Though there may be many kinds, overall, each disciple has
his or her rigid set of preferred and obligatory devotions. Each has personal
words of power as a result of distillation. All roads lead to Rome for
the serious practitioner. It is Spare's principle of reduction, Pavlov's
bell. The devout Catholic crosses himself and murmurs "Saints preserve
us." The Pentecostal shouts "Hallelujah!" The Jew says "Mazeltov."
A more potent manifestation is possible, when one considers the true nature
of religion. They might instead say: "I need a drink," "My
niece with the fine ass...," "Is she a disciplinarian?"
Every fetishist/religionist has sacred buzzwords: "tickle," "Cherry
'65 Mustang," "stinky socks," and millions more. Sexual
fetishes are probably the most epicurean preference of the human animal.
The smallest detail is of great significance and there is little margin
for error. In fact, _there is less room for deviance in deviance, than
in any other human endeavor_.
If certain words and phrases keep reappearing, it's because they're
never tiresome, always fresh. Uncle Louie's favorite musical composition
may be the same old tune to others, but to Uncle Louie, it improves with
age--which is more than can be said for Uncle Louie. It is his _Ave Maria_.
Satanism is the only religion which serves to encourage and enhance
one's individual preferences, so long as there is admission of those needs.
Thus, one's personal and indelible religion (the picture) is integrated
into a perfect frame. It's a celebration of individuality without hypocrisy,
of solidarity without mindlessness, of OBJECTIVE SUBJECTIVITY. There need
be no deviation from these principles. They should summarily negate internecine
strife and bickering. Any attempts at Satanic "reformation" should
be seen for what they are: creating problems where none exist. There should
be no place in any religion for reformers whose very religion is the fetish
of reformation. There is even a place and title for compulsive dissidents,
and if they can wear the mantle, they are welcome. They would delude themselves
to be revolutionaries. In our camp, they are called "House Masochists."
Contributed to the Internet with permission. Copyright Year XXXI A.S.
by
Anton Szandor LaVey. Originally appeared in _The Cloven Hoof_, Issue
#127.